DIY Bride Part I: The Venue, Save the Dates, and the Dress
There are myriad blogs, pinterest pins, and online resources to help just about any type of bride. After I got engaged, I procrastinated and didn't start wedding planning until this month (June). We decided on a date and potential venue, and I panicked as I realized I had less than 4 months to put this whole thing together. I had assumed that a simple wedding with mostly close family and friends would be easy to plan, so I felt my procrastination was justified. But when I started dress shopping, everyone told me I was supposed to have ordered my dress 5-6 months in advance of the wedding date. Oops! And so it all began...
I've been on a major creativity kick, so naturally I was/am determined to be a DIY bride. I've never believed in spending a fortune on a wedding, only to end up in debt or unable to afford a house, vacation, or other things that seem immensely more important to me. Instead, I want us to be surrounded by people we love and who love us and to be free to express ourselves without judgment. I want to remember how I felt and that others enjoyed themselves and got to know each other better, and it'd be great to use the wedding as an opportunity to express how grateful I am for all of those present and for my husband to be. None of these really requires money, but hosting a party to bring all these people together and entertain them for a few hours does. This is what a wedding becomes. I wanted to minimize costs but maximize fun, good memories, love, and relationship building.
I designed my own Save the Date coasters and invitations (although not without guidance from online pictures of invitations and really anything wedding-related), and I plan to make my own bouquet, paper mache cake toppers, centerpieces, favors, decor, and ceremony arch. I also want to document this as best as I can in hopes of saving similarly situated brides some time and money, so here goes.
THE VENUE
We want a rustic but slightly chic wedding and ended up choosing Honolulu Beerworks (a local microbrewery) as our venue. It's cute but certainly not set up for a wedding.
It took some creativity to visualize a ceremony and reception in the space, but hopefully we can make it happen.
We're working with the chef to do a Southern BBQ menu, which is not their usual fare. We're still waiting to hear some suggestions from the chef. Fingers crossed!
SAVE THE DATES
Since we decided on a brewery as our venue, I thought doing something beer-related would be appropriate for our Save the Dates. I realized I was late on my Save the Dates, as apparently I was supposed to send these in January or so, but I figured better late than never. Plus, I had thought of a clever little phrase to include on paper coasters -- "Something's brewing". I was really excited about the rustic design, which was a photo of wood grain I used as background. I did 40 in that design and 20 with a solid blush background. They were printed through Vistaprint, which was really cheap, but I wasn't very happy with the quality of the wood one. The color and font I chose got lost against the background, and my clipart didn't look exactly centered. The blush-background coasters came out alright.
I can live with slightly disappointing Save the Dates because on the whole they're cute :). I don't even know if anyone will notice. My in-laws to be have already started using theirs, which I think is adorable! I'll be a lot more wary about printing with Vistaprint again. I think I need to learn how to make some fool-proof designs.
Here are pictures of both colors I ordered:
I should've chosen a font that stands out more on the wood background and a thicker font for "October 2, 2016". Also, you can't tell from the picture, but the wood grain coaster looks like it's coated with something that has an uneven shine to it, and it doesn't look as good as I had hoped. Oh well. Lesson learned. Most people thought these were really clever and cute, and I'm happy with this DIY project.
THE DRESS
Ahhh, the dress. Where to begin... luckily, buying a dress was more like ripping a band-aid off quickly than a slow, tortured process. I only visited 3 brick-and-mortar stores, although I scoured the Internet for wedding dress pictures. I started at David's Bridal and completely avoided strapless dresses, which was a mistake. I thought I wouldn't look good in them. I didn't have an appointment, so we just perused the racks on our own at first, which was overwhelming. We ended up getting helped and chose a few styles to try on. None of the dresses were that great, and I felt a little embarrassed walking out of the fitting room where others could see me. My consultant tried to bring over dresses that matched the ones I had chosen to try on, but she really didn't recommend anything different. I found one I could settle with, but it was $950 -- $400 over my budget. My $500 budget was pretty low, but I was actually willing to go much higher if I found a dress I liked that much.
We left without a dress but with new-found information -- dresses can take months to receive, and alterations another month, so I was already way behind schedule. I don't know if this is a sales tactic used by all the stores I visited, but it scared me into action.
After that, I contemplated buying a simple, non-wedding dress. I shopped at prom dress stores, Anthropologie, Nordstrom, Bloomingdale's, and Neiman Marcus, but to no avail. In the end, I squeezed in two back-to-back appointments at bridal stores. At the first store, I found 2 I liked and at really affordable prices ($200 and $750). At the second store, I fell in love with 2 dresses -- one blush colored one that made me feel like I was dreaming and another, sexier lace dress that was gorgeous (and way over budget -- $1200). Everyone loved that last dress the best, but in the end I couldn't justify the price, especially since I'd probably wear this dress just once. Even though Mom insisted on paying, and actually perhaps because she insisted on paying, I decided to go with the $750 one. It's pretty enough and reasonable. I had some angst over this decision, as I felt rushed to make it and stressed trying to please my Mom, myself, and my fiancé.
If I had to do this process over again, I'd start earlier and try a variety of dresses on from the beginning. You never know how a dress will look on you until you try it on. Keep an open mind, and stick with your budget, unless of course your budget isn't really firm. And don't feel ashamed about your dress budget. You may be trying on dresses alongside brides with enormous budgets. Stay focused on what you want and how much you're willing to pay, and I'm pretty sure you can find something that will look great on you without going over budget.
GENERAL THOUGHTS
People keep telling me that the wedding is my day and that I should choose whatever I want. I find this to be completely untrue. The hardest part about wedding planning is trying to accommodate everyone else. If I had it my way, I would've had a beach house weekend on the North Shore with people free to come and go, hang out, surf, swim, eat, drink, play music, and talk story. I just couldn't find a house that could accommodate that many people. And I know some of my family wouldn't really enjoy that type of wedding. Wedding planning is a big puzzle and lots of compromises and creativity. Now that I've been busy on a bunch of wedding projects, I'm actually enjoying the challenge and especially loving the details in creating everything from a bouquet to invitations and favors. I think I'll remember just as much about the planning and creating process as I do the actual wedding.
More topics to come...
I've been on a major creativity kick, so naturally I was/am determined to be a DIY bride. I've never believed in spending a fortune on a wedding, only to end up in debt or unable to afford a house, vacation, or other things that seem immensely more important to me. Instead, I want us to be surrounded by people we love and who love us and to be free to express ourselves without judgment. I want to remember how I felt and that others enjoyed themselves and got to know each other better, and it'd be great to use the wedding as an opportunity to express how grateful I am for all of those present and for my husband to be. None of these really requires money, but hosting a party to bring all these people together and entertain them for a few hours does. This is what a wedding becomes. I wanted to minimize costs but maximize fun, good memories, love, and relationship building.
I designed my own Save the Date coasters and invitations (although not without guidance from online pictures of invitations and really anything wedding-related), and I plan to make my own bouquet, paper mache cake toppers, centerpieces, favors, decor, and ceremony arch. I also want to document this as best as I can in hopes of saving similarly situated brides some time and money, so here goes.
THE VENUE
We want a rustic but slightly chic wedding and ended up choosing Honolulu Beerworks (a local microbrewery) as our venue. It's cute but certainly not set up for a wedding.
It took some creativity to visualize a ceremony and reception in the space, but hopefully we can make it happen.
We're working with the chef to do a Southern BBQ menu, which is not their usual fare. We're still waiting to hear some suggestions from the chef. Fingers crossed!
SAVE THE DATES
Since we decided on a brewery as our venue, I thought doing something beer-related would be appropriate for our Save the Dates. I realized I was late on my Save the Dates, as apparently I was supposed to send these in January or so, but I figured better late than never. Plus, I had thought of a clever little phrase to include on paper coasters -- "Something's brewing". I was really excited about the rustic design, which was a photo of wood grain I used as background. I did 40 in that design and 20 with a solid blush background. They were printed through Vistaprint, which was really cheap, but I wasn't very happy with the quality of the wood one. The color and font I chose got lost against the background, and my clipart didn't look exactly centered. The blush-background coasters came out alright.
I can live with slightly disappointing Save the Dates because on the whole they're cute :). I don't even know if anyone will notice. My in-laws to be have already started using theirs, which I think is adorable! I'll be a lot more wary about printing with Vistaprint again. I think I need to learn how to make some fool-proof designs.
Here are pictures of both colors I ordered:
I should've chosen a font that stands out more on the wood background and a thicker font for "October 2, 2016". Also, you can't tell from the picture, but the wood grain coaster looks like it's coated with something that has an uneven shine to it, and it doesn't look as good as I had hoped. Oh well. Lesson learned. Most people thought these were really clever and cute, and I'm happy with this DIY project.
THE DRESS
Ahhh, the dress. Where to begin... luckily, buying a dress was more like ripping a band-aid off quickly than a slow, tortured process. I only visited 3 brick-and-mortar stores, although I scoured the Internet for wedding dress pictures. I started at David's Bridal and completely avoided strapless dresses, which was a mistake. I thought I wouldn't look good in them. I didn't have an appointment, so we just perused the racks on our own at first, which was overwhelming. We ended up getting helped and chose a few styles to try on. None of the dresses were that great, and I felt a little embarrassed walking out of the fitting room where others could see me. My consultant tried to bring over dresses that matched the ones I had chosen to try on, but she really didn't recommend anything different. I found one I could settle with, but it was $950 -- $400 over my budget. My $500 budget was pretty low, but I was actually willing to go much higher if I found a dress I liked that much.
We left without a dress but with new-found information -- dresses can take months to receive, and alterations another month, so I was already way behind schedule. I don't know if this is a sales tactic used by all the stores I visited, but it scared me into action.
After that, I contemplated buying a simple, non-wedding dress. I shopped at prom dress stores, Anthropologie, Nordstrom, Bloomingdale's, and Neiman Marcus, but to no avail. In the end, I squeezed in two back-to-back appointments at bridal stores. At the first store, I found 2 I liked and at really affordable prices ($200 and $750). At the second store, I fell in love with 2 dresses -- one blush colored one that made me feel like I was dreaming and another, sexier lace dress that was gorgeous (and way over budget -- $1200). Everyone loved that last dress the best, but in the end I couldn't justify the price, especially since I'd probably wear this dress just once. Even though Mom insisted on paying, and actually perhaps because she insisted on paying, I decided to go with the $750 one. It's pretty enough and reasonable. I had some angst over this decision, as I felt rushed to make it and stressed trying to please my Mom, myself, and my fiancé.
If I had to do this process over again, I'd start earlier and try a variety of dresses on from the beginning. You never know how a dress will look on you until you try it on. Keep an open mind, and stick with your budget, unless of course your budget isn't really firm. And don't feel ashamed about your dress budget. You may be trying on dresses alongside brides with enormous budgets. Stay focused on what you want and how much you're willing to pay, and I'm pretty sure you can find something that will look great on you without going over budget.
GENERAL THOUGHTS
People keep telling me that the wedding is my day and that I should choose whatever I want. I find this to be completely untrue. The hardest part about wedding planning is trying to accommodate everyone else. If I had it my way, I would've had a beach house weekend on the North Shore with people free to come and go, hang out, surf, swim, eat, drink, play music, and talk story. I just couldn't find a house that could accommodate that many people. And I know some of my family wouldn't really enjoy that type of wedding. Wedding planning is a big puzzle and lots of compromises and creativity. Now that I've been busy on a bunch of wedding projects, I'm actually enjoying the challenge and especially loving the details in creating everything from a bouquet to invitations and favors. I think I'll remember just as much about the planning and creating process as I do the actual wedding.
More topics to come...
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